bapeonion:

“VIRGINIA LAWMAKER SAYS HIS WIFE WOULDN’T HAVE SEX WITH HIM BECAUSE OF HIS SUPPORTING VOTE ON THE TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUND BILL”

THIS HAS TO BE TYPED IN CAPITALS BECAUSE THIS REPRESENTATIVE CLOWNS ON HIS STORY THE WHOLE TIME AND IS LITERALLY AT WORK WITHIN HIS STATE GOVERNMENT USING STATE TIME AND STATE MONEY AND STATE FACILITIES TO DELIVER A COMEDIC ANECDOTE ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO SEDUCE HIS WIFE AS IF HE’S WALKED INTO OPEN MIC NIGHT AT THE COMEDY CLUB. 

THIS POST IS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE DAVID ALBO TAKES THE PROPOSAL TO FORCEFULLY PENETRATE A WOMAN IN ORDER TO GUILT AND SHAME HER INTO CANCELLING AN ABORTION SO LIGHTLY THAT HE FEELS IT’S EXCELLENT COMEDY MATERIAL.

THIS POST IS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE FOR THE SAKE OF UNFUNNY COMEDY HE BLAMES DEMOCRATIC OPPOSITION TO THE BILL FOR HIS INABILITY TO FUCK HIS OWN WIFE, OVERLOOKING — AGAIN, FOR COMEDY — THAT SHE MAY HAVE BEEN TURNED OFF BY THE COMMERCIAL FEATURING HER HUSBAND’S FACE FOLLOWED BY HOW HE SUPPORTS TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUND SHAMING, OR I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE HIS VOTE TO SUPPORT TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUND SHAMING.

THIS POST IS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS MAN CANNOT EVEN BRING HIMSELF TO SAY “VAGINA” IN PUBLIC BUT FEELS THAT IT IS WHOLLY APPROPRIATE TO INFORM THE VIRGINIA LEGISLATURE OF HIS MARITAL INCOMPETENCE “FOR A FEW LAUGHS.”

THIS POST IS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS MAN CONCLUDES HIS STORY BY SAYING THAT BY OPPOSING THIS BILL, A FUTURE REPUBLICAN REPRESENTATIVE WAS NOT CONCEIVED ON THIS NIGHT, PASSING OFF AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SET OF UNBELIEVABLY BACKWARDS SOCIOPOLITICAL BELIEFS AND FUCKED-UP BACKWATER POLITICAL POLICIES AS IF THEY WERE AN INEVITABILITY OF NATURE.

THIS POST IS IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE DAVID ALBO IS A DISGUSTING EMBARRASSMENT OF A MAN, A DISGRACE TO THE PEOPLE OF VIRGINIA, THE WOMEN OF THE UNITED STATES, AND THE REPUTATION OF THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT; AND NO AMOUNT OF ANGRY CAPITAL LETTERS CAN EVER DO JUSTICE TO HOW THOROUGHLY OFFENDED BY THIS MAN ANY PERSON WITH A RATIONAL BRAIN BETWEEN THEIR EARS SHOULD BE.

Another dude that gets registered in my “dudes to chop their dicks before they die” list.